Myrnin's Trip to Jerry's Market
by lunamoon2012
Summary: One day was digging through some boxes in the lab and stumbled upon a list. Not just any list, twas a list on Myrnin's adventures in Jerry's Market. Co-written again with Flying Penguinz NAO READ MY.. Well just read. :D
1. Myrnin's Adventures in Jerry's Market

Okay so I'm back with more :D and just a heads up the bold is Myrnins comments on his time there... IF you are just that dumb not to figure it out xD

Read and Enjoy, oh and also don't forget to review.

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**Myrnins Trip to Jerry's Market.**

On one of those rare days that Dannie Jean was 'suspended' from school and Myrnin was out for a bit to get doughnuts, she often found some interesting things in his lab. Notes on Claire like she was a test subject, pictures of Oliver through the slits in the blinds in his office. Notes wondering how to stop Oliver from throwing Barty at poor bystanders, how he has warned people to stay away from the ass raper. But the most intriguing thing she found was a list. Not just any list no. But a list on how he tried on many occasions to get kicked out of Jerry's Market, the store that is so oddly like Wallmart.

Scanning through the list she had to pause and re-read some to be sure that she saw what she thought she saw. And when it was true she moved on. Lets see if you are stumped at his actions, is it an experiment or a joke? Dannie Jean still wonders to this day, but she can never ask. Why? Because her snooping in the lab whilst Myrnin is gone will end. This is that list.

Jerry's Market To-Do list.

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.  
**Do not do this. It gets you into too much trouble and the payoff is little.**  
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the... store.  
**Okay, this is fun. But... don't do it.  
**3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.  
**Watching the people from the corner was too much. I nearly wet myself.  
**4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.  
***Clears throat* I'm not much of a football player, so not many people wanted to play.**  
5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him I need some tampons!"  
***Grins* This was quite interesting. I hadn't known what tampons were until I the man directed me to the aisle, and I opened one of the packets, reading the very detailed instructions on how to use them. I bought a box for Amelie, though. I hope it will help with her PMS.  
**6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.  
**I had never known what kind of underclothing women wear this century. Until then.  
**7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.  
**Having known the undergarments of women after the first experience, my go at this was only a few minutes long.**  
8. Make a trail of tomato juice on the ground, leading to the girls restrooms.  
**I didn't quite understand this one, but the disgusted faces I saw when they looked at the red trail were quite disgusted.**  
9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy."  
***Blush*  
**10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in House wares," and see what happens.  
**The man turned white and ran away, screaming into his little handheld device, "To the House Wares section, NOW!"**  
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.  
***Grins deviously* I heard this music being turned on and quickly shut off so often throughout the rest of the trip to Jerry's Market.  
**12. Play with the automatic doors.  
**THEY ALWAYS SAW ME! It was as if they could see every move I made!  
**13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.  
***Laughs* This was quite fun. A woman hugged me.  
**14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"  
**Some nodded in agreement, muttering about the prices**.  
15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.  
**Most women glared.**  
16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.  
**Now, these undergarments I did NOT need to see.**  
17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.  
**I didn't understand sacrifices, so I put a dead goat underneath the stand of one.  
**18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.  
**Claire and I enjoyed a marvelous game of soccer, after she explained the rules to me. Well... she played for five minutes, and then I had to play by myself. *Frowns*  
**19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"  
**It really was, actually.**  
20. Put M&M's on layaway.  
***Laughs evilly*  
**21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.  
**Many confused people passed.  
**22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from their house.  
**I got Claire and her friends to join. But they only looked bored.  
**23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.  
***Gags from the memories* Those fresheners smelled HORRIBLE.  
**24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.  
**They worked wonders.**  
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come, Robin-to the Batcave!"  
***Shrugs* I don't know what this was referring to.**  
26. TP as much of the store as possible.  
Claire expalined "TP" was toilet paper. So... in short, the store was nearly entirely covered in 'TP' before the manager came to drag me out.  
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.  
**The next day, I snuck in, wearing a mustache.  
When I threw things, people screamed and I had to run before they caught me and tattled to the mean manager**.  
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.  
**I had to have a woman show me how to do this. It was very intriguing.  
**29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"  
**I was sent away.  
**30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"  
**Red velvet... *drools*  
**31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you admire your good looks.  
Quite easy to do.  
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.**  
IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!  
Until a man reported me.  
**33. Take bets on the battle described above.  
**No one took me seriously.**  
34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!)  
**I was banned from the toy section. A man stood there guarding it from me.**  
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.  
***Smiles* The reaction was priceless.**  
36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.  
***Bursts out laughing* **  
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."  
**THIS IS MY THEME SONG!**  
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.  
**I didn't fit, unfortunately. But... I believe Amelie could...**  
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.  
**I put a baby in one. *Thinks* ...I hope its mother found it...  
**40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.  
**What are condoms?**  
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.  
**I did not stay to witness reactions, for the manager was standing not nearly twenty feet away.  
**42. Two words: "Marco Polo."  
**Ah! The man who created trading. Yes, what a man he was.  
**43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.  
**I actually fell asleep with the pillows...  
**44. Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.  
**Easily done.  
**45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" with various funnels.  
**Who is Madonna?**  
46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them  
**This was quite amusing. A child started crying.  
**47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another man, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.  
**Now, now. What's wrong with talking to yourself?**  
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, No, no! It's those voices again!"  
**Yes, the voices...**  
49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.  
**The scanner wouldn't work, and a woman slapped me.**  
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.  
**Wonderful. I got a free drink. ...Water from the drinking fountain from a little girl... but that is besides the point**.


	2. Elevator Adventures

You all know the drill, non bold is Myrnin.

Also I know you read this so click the damn review button. I will not beg I will be blunt. It takes 30 seconds to review a damn story.

Oh and have a nice day :)

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**79 Things to do in the Elevator at Town Hall**

I found this to be quite boring in a fun sense. The town hall consists of two floors but I made the most of it.

**1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" **I found the bag with the baby in it at Jerry's Market. I took it with me.. *looks around* Does anyone know how to change a diaper?

**2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. **I was subject to many weird looks.

**3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. **I really thought you had to open the doors your self.. *blushes* I was embarrassed..

**4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. **Done, I also wore the outfit. Do I get Bonus Punkte?

**5. Meow occasionally. **It was fun, until a "Cat Lady" Tried to take me home.

**6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.** It _**WAS **_one of them; it had a pony tail grey hair and a tie-dye shirt! I think it worked for Oliver. The damned hippie.

**7. Say "DING!" at each floor. **Again fun, until Claire hit me with a book that was larger in size and hit me with it.

**8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons. **It was **SO** boring; on the plus side I got to see people run around late to work.

**9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. ***smiles deviously*

**10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I have new socks on." **I really did they had unicorns and rainbows *smiles* Amelie came in around that time and told me to go home. She is so mean.

**11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" **Beeper?

**12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone. ***smiles* I called Claire…. After I re-wired it.

**13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." **They don't seem to respect it. *pouts* Oliver pouted water on it and told me he couldn't see it since it washed away. I hit him.

**14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. ***smiles wickedly* Oliver was in front of me.

**15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them. ***sniffles* I never will, they will always be in my heart.

**16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. ** I did this to Oliver, he tattled to Amelie.

**17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" **BUT GREG IS REAL *points to blank space* He is right there, I hit him with a car.. And.. Well…

**18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" **Well it is my pen; I was keeping it safe and warm on the floor.

**19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. **I received many odd looks; some were muttering about "Nutters with frocked coats" I am not a nutter.

**20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. **I stole one of Amelie's outfits and handed out pamphlets that I made Claire make the night before.

**21. Swat at flies that don't exist. **Oliver was there that day. I pretended _he_ was the fly.

**22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it. **I did I flashed my plastic toy badge that I stole from a child.

**23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off. ***smiles*

**24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you. **They should be honored to be in my presence, Queen Elizabeth was.

**25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" **Oh, yes.. They never seem to listen do they?

**26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. ***looks around nervously* Ummm, yes. This one was taken a little too seriously…

**27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently. **They all thought I had my special Vitamin M, so they just turned around and walked out quickly. With scared expressions.

**28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it. **I put the most annoying ringtone possible on too, it was that song by that she-male Justin Bieber, you know? The one that says "baby" Over and over. Dannie Jean smashed her head on the wall the whole time, quite amusing really.

**29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..." **THOSE WERE!

**30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.** I was that was a nicely carpeted elevator and should be treated with better care.

**31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer. **I did this to Oliver, he snapped yes and I said. "Oh sorry you are incorrect" And selected all of the floors. Then ran away, and hid.

**32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting. **I got back on, on one of the floors I selected for Oliver and said it and told him to leave poor Claire alone.

**33. Ask, "Did you feel that?" **Feel what?

**34. Tell people that you can see their aura. **I can! Oliver's looks like Vomit.

**35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again." **They do, I feel the need to do that now for others. Almost like repaying the one that did it for me when I first rode in an elevator.

**36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." ***smiles*

**37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..." **Time for what exactly? Is that up to me to decide? If so then good, I like to dress up.

**38. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers. **Gross, I will do it.

**39. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. ** Someone hit me round the head.

**40. Sell Girl Scout cookies. **I ate them after I was given money, is that how it works?

**41. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. **Snore.

**42. Shave.**I did.

**43. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. **I did, twas fun.

**44. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!" **I warned Oliver.

**45. One word: Flatulence! ***snickers*

**46. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. **I did, I was hoping Oliver was in its path. Sadly he wasn't.

**47. Do Tai Chi exercises.**Dannie Jean and Journey joined me.

**48. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!" **I do hate when that happens.

**49. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. **I made a lot of money that day.

**50. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" ***looks away guiltily*

**51. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. **They healed to damn fast.

**52. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. ***snickers and snorts*

**53. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. **I lost my voice.

**54. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!" **It was; it tasted like that burger I had earlier.

**55. Leave a box between the doors. **I used an unconscious Oliver instead. Is that okay oh great list?

**56. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. **It was fun, a child bit my hand though…

**57. Start a sing-along. **I felt like I was on an episode of Glee.

**58. Play the harmonica. **It was so long since I played it last, but I did find a lot of old people that way.

**59. Lean against the button panel. **The door wouldn't close. Why is that?

**60. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. **It didn't sound healthy; I give the elevator five months.

**61. Bring a chair along. ** I did, it was a long day of riding up and down the two floors of Town Hall.

**62. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?" ** Many said ewww.

**63. Blow spit bubbles. ** It's really fascinating; Claire and Dannie Jean told me to stop many times.

**64. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. ** I used it as a rope to hold Oliver captive, it didn't work well.

**65. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. **No one, I repeat no one touches Clarence.

**66. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers. **Heheheeh :D

**67. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger." **I think it really is *inspects thumb*

**68. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!" ***shudders* Oliver is a **very **bad touch.

**69. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes. **Hehe, Amelie got mad.

**70. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!" ** They were there, there were so many of them!

**71. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament. ***Frowns* Nobody wanted to join me.

**72. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy. **They are, they didn't laugh at the joke that I thought up, on ride number 54.

**73. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. **I was very late for a council meeting.

**74. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part. **They do, it's almost like they plan it.

**75. Make chalk drawings on the walls. **The chalk didn't work.

**76. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, darn it!" **It wouldn't listen to me, it upset me very much.

**77. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on. ** Ten points for being a vampire, I flashed fangs many times.. I never knew that many residents were Oliver's property. I pity them.

**78. Try to get a game of "Twister" going. **It was all fun and games until Oliver came on board.. Then it felt like rape.

**79. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away. **I smelt Oliver, he smelt like marijuana. That hippie, he should take a shower and put forth an effort to cover up the stench.


	3. IMPORTANT :D

**Hey guys! Can you please do the pole on my profile? I wont update until I get votes!**

**Lots of Love,**

**Lunamoon2012**


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